Dear Teacher,
I
see you five times a week, a couple hours a day. You get my
assignments on time, for the most part. I sit in the middle row. You see me
smiling and having fun with my friends. If only you saw what was behind the
mask.
Freshly stained
crimson carved on my wrist. I walk into your class – worthlessness hits my
heart again. Burdens weigh me down. I can’t stop thinking about Haley. I don’t
want her to kill herself; it will be my fault if she dies. But you don’t
care.
Kayla, my best friend,
sits next to me. She’s the only person who knows about Haley and my cutting.
Class begins. Everyone in class is talking, so I start to update Kayla on the
situation. You immediately start yelling at Kayla and me. Were we the only ones
talking? I’m aggravated, but this has happened all year. Everyone agrees you
hate my guts. Class continues.
“I want you to start
working on vocab in your workbook,” you command us.
I forgot what
questions to start on; I lean over and ask Kayla.
“Jane, didn’t I
already tell you to stop talking?”
“I was asking Kayla a
question,” I respond with attitude.
If there is one thing
you don’t do in this class, it’s talk back. You order us to the hall. We
surrender and leave with our heads down low. You start screaming at us, not
bothering to close the door first. Glancing into the class, I see everyone
listening. I try not to show any emotion, even though inside I’m crying. Kayla,
on the other hand, is actually crying, loudly I might add. But you have no
mercy and continue blaring at us.
When you are finished,
I walk back in the room; the whole class stares at me, their eyes glued to
mine. I’ve never been this humiliated. Class continues, leaving me behind, a
metaphor of my worth.
Before class ends, you
tell Kayla and me to stay after. You proceed to tell me how awful and rude of a
person I am. Do you realize how much that hurts? I leave. You then tell Kayla,
my best friend, to stop being my friend. How dare you say that? You have no
idea what’s going on in my life. Kayla is the only one holding me together.
I took off my mask and
handed it to you in an effort to make a difference. My time in your classroom
has left me with this knowledge I want to share. Please realize the amount of
influence you have on us. Sometimes you’re the only light we see in the day.
Every word you say impacts us, don’t waste them. So you have a choice, whether
to build up or tear down. Teachers, as a student I say this to you: we want to
know you care. Smile and talk to us. The simplicity of asking questions and
wanting to get to know us goes so far. Invest in us, don’t just teach us. You
can change the world through your classroom.
With
Love,
Jane
Doe
Five
days a week. A couple hours a day. That’s all you have.
