Saying Bye to a Friend, Sister, and Mentor

Dear Linds,

Hey friend. I got to say this kills methinking about how you're going to be so far away. Its kind of funnycause I've been encouraging you to go to Cali all along haha.Anyways. It will be different for me not having you within drivingdistance. No more times of you picking me up from school, no morecoming up to see me when I'm sad. Linds your an amazing person. I'mso excited for the journey God has placed you on. I know your goingto do great things; I mean you already have in my life. I know Ialways joke around saying I'll find myself a new Lindsay, buthonestly no one will ever be able to measure up to you. No one I haveever met has put this amount of time investing in me. I don't knowwhat you see in me, but I am forever grateful to have you as myfriend.

I know this isn't goodbye forever, butits goodbye for a long time. That makes me sad. But who knows maybeIll go to college at San Diego Christian with you(; Haha, I'mthinking about all the fun times we've had together. The first time Imet you and we had a deep talk about God and Jesus, and I was sonervous to met you I didn't eat and you called me anorexic lol. OrRevolve Tour this year where you helped me accomplish one of mydreams to be on the Revolve stage in front of everyone. And then thepen in your car... opps. HAHA. All the amazing talks we've had onskype. Our longboarding journeys together, and me praying that youdidn't fall and kill yourself going down that hill near your house(:Then when we would play basketball even though you hate it, but didit cause you know I love it. The time I made you planking in targetand strangers yards. Or one of the BEST moments in my LIFE havingdinner with Tiffany Thurston!!!!!! Then recently our journey to Cali.My first time. Our sassy pants together being tired beyond anythingand whining at each other. But having an amazing time at BecomingTour. I am totally going again this year with you! Gosh some of thebest moments in my life(: Thank you for supporting me! I love youfriend.

Then some of the darkest moments in mylife. Tylers death, Nicks parents divorce, Kates death. When I toldyou I no longer believed in God, and you texted me Hebrews 11:1. Orwhen I relapsed and found myself in a depression after finding outabout the divorce and you comforted me and told me that you stillloved me. Then when my friend tried to kill herself and I was at oneof the lowest points, and you called me and talked me out of cutting.And recently when I was tempted to cut again, and you drove 3 hoursto be by my side and make me feel better. Lindsay not many peoplewould do that for someone. I'm so BEYOND blessed to have you in mylife. If everyone involved in youth ministry was like you, a lot morekids would be saved. You've pushed me like no one else has, in a goodway. You have grown me to become stronger in my faith.

No one in this whole universe, besidesGod, knows me better than you do. You literally know all my secrets,and things not even my best friends know. Yet you still love me andaccept me. That's still crazy to me. You SHOW Jesus! Member when weskyped and I told you something that my mom didn't even know becauseI thought “i will never met you anyway” haha I was off a little(:Your heart is so beautiful, WAY more than your appearance. I don'tknow why God put the two of us together. We're the complete oppositein every way, but click so perfectly. No one will ever come close tobeing the mentor you are to me. I'm so excited for the journey youare embarking on! I'm praying for you. Linds your going to be thebest youth pastor in the world!!!!!! Love you more than theworld!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- K.

The Viewing

Seeing her lifeless body was when it hit me. Hard. I mean I knew she was dead but this made it click. She's dead. The thought that I'll never see her smiling, bubbly face again hurts my heart. I looked over her body standing next to my friend Kimmy, both of us just started to cry. I was expecting to see her wake up, and be okay but that never happened. I had to walk away cause I couldn't take looking at her anymore.

The viewing was hard. I mean I thought that I may get teary eyed but I didn't expect to full out ball my eyes out to the point where I couldn't even talk. I saw her grandmother - she was holding back tears trying to be strong. When we talked she told me how much Kate loved our school and the people in it. I told her with tears in my eyes that I was praying for her. Mrs. McAfee reassured me saying that she was without pain, and sorrow. That's when I lost it. At youth group, yesterday, Jason used that verse in his sermon. I couldn't talk anymore because the tears where coming so strong so she just held me. Kate was lucky to have her as a grandmother. Mrs. McAfee asked that I keep praying for her, and I will, everyday.

When I first walked in, I sat down with a group of my friends, all with tears in their eyes. We sat in silence for a while. Then I looked up and saw Miss. Dixon. Again I found myself sobbing. The sight of my teacher killed me because that was where Kate and I became friends, in her classroom. Also was the last time I saw her. The pain I can't explain, but the Holy Spirit definitely was comforting me.

The sight was something I will never forget. Tons of people from our school, everyone just crying, even the guys. Then seeing our guidance councilors and teachers their supporting us. But then seeing her family, broken, in shock, holding back tears, it killed me. I pray they all find rest in Jesus, cause I couldn't imagine going through this without having Him there to support me.

I went up to her body a second time with my friend Alli. She requested we'd go up there and pray for her. So we did. We went up to Kate and bowed our heads and prayed for her friends, family, that she's in a better place. I love having bold christian friends that are willing to stand in front of our school and show our love for our God.

I know Kate's in a better place now. Today really shuck me. But I know she's in heaven. It's hard but it will get better. Please keep praying for her family, and friends <3

The House (Part 2)

Click here for Part 1

Every now and then the man would return, but for no more than a couple hours straight. Coming up to his house, smiling and waving to his neighbors. But they knew what he had done. They weren't fooled by him. There was hatred in all the people's hearts toward him, yet he pretended not to realize this, and went on like everything was okay. He would show up at the house when no one was home just to avoid any fights that could possibly break out. It has been almost a year now since the man had betrayed his family, and he still had no regret.

"God" the youngest son screamed, "why can't you just put my family back to normal?" He prayed this prayer everyday. The youngest daughter seemed to be taking it a little differently. She put on the mask and pretended everything was okay - even though you could still see the pain inside her eyes. The daughter refused to see the man or hang out with him, even though her heart longed to have her daddy back. She couldn't stand the fact that he didn't care enough even to say he was sorry.

Still from the outside, everything seemed normal. The mailbox wasn't overstuffed. The wood stacked perfectly. The lawn was mowed. You see the eldest son of the woman had taken over and became the man of the house. He got a job, and was doing all he could to help out his mother.

But to the unknowing eye you could still see the slight changes. It was the middle of summer, yet their pool was still not open. When the woman got home, instead of going straight into the house, she would quietly sit in her car for an hour crying out to God. This house was still broken, but the hope was not.

On their refrigerator the woman placed bible verses for her children to see.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who've been called according to His purpose" Romans 8:28

There is still hope. But their eye are blinded by the now, if only they could see the bigger picture.