Seeing her lifeless body was when it hit me. Hard. I mean I knew she was dead but this made it click. She's dead. The thought that I'll never see her smiling, bubbly face again hurts my heart. I looked over her body standing next to my friend Kimmy, both of us just started to cry. I was expecting to see her wake up, and be okay but that never happened. I had to walk away cause I couldn't take looking at her anymore.
The viewing was hard. I mean I thought that I may get teary eyed but I didn't expect to full out ball my eyes out to the point where I couldn't even talk. I saw her grandmother - she was holding back tears trying to be strong. When we talked she told me how much Kate loved our school and the people in it. I told her with tears in my eyes that I was praying for her. Mrs. McAfee reassured me saying that she was without pain, and sorrow. That's when I lost it. At youth group, yesterday, Jason used that verse in his sermon. I couldn't talk anymore because the tears where coming so strong so she just held me. Kate was lucky to have her as a grandmother. Mrs. McAfee asked that I keep praying for her, and I will, everyday.
When I first walked in, I sat down with a group of my friends, all with tears in their eyes. We sat in silence for a while. Then I looked up and saw Miss. Dixon. Again I found myself sobbing. The sight of my teacher killed me because that was where Kate and I became friends, in her classroom. Also was the last time I saw her. The pain I can't explain, but the Holy Spirit definitely was comforting me.
The sight was something I will never forget. Tons of people from our school, everyone just crying, even the guys. Then seeing our guidance councilors and teachers their supporting us. But then seeing her family, broken, in shock, holding back tears, it killed me. I pray they all find rest in Jesus, cause I couldn't imagine going through this without having Him there to support me.
I went up to her body a second time with my friend Alli. She requested we'd go up there and pray for her. So we did. We went up to Kate and bowed our heads and prayed for her friends, family, that she's in a better place. I love having bold christian friends that are willing to stand in front of our school and show our love for our God.
I know Kate's in a better place now. Today really shuck me. But I know she's in heaven. It's hard but it will get better. Please keep praying for her family, and friends <3
