Dear Revolve

Dear Revolve Tour and Women of Faith (cause you kind of run Revolve),

I'm writing this to tell you my story, about how Revolve changed my life – to help you realize the amazing things you're doing, if you didn't already know(:

My names Kirstin, I went to Revolve in 09' and 11'. I heard about Revolve through my friend Hannah, she invited me to go with her, her mom and some of the people from her church. I accepted only because I didn’t have plans that weekend. During that time in my life my friend was threatening to kill herself, and I was the only one that knew. I had started cutting a couple months before I went to Revolve 09' . When I was there I remember feeling God's overwhelming presents in the room, filled with thousands of teen. Even though I knew about God I didn’t have a personal relationship with Him. The whole time I was there I was hoping that one of the speakers or artist would say something about suicide - anything to help my friend. I didn’t care about myself, I wanted to help her. The only thing I remember that really stuck out to me was Britt Nicole’s song 'Feel the Light'.

Once Revolve was over I went home and looked up Britt Nicole, someone who I never heard about before Revolve, in fact before Revolve I didn’t know Christian music out of the hymns at my church! When I looked her up I came across the song 'When she Cries', both of these songs helped me through that time, although my cutting continued.

This past year, Revolve 11' was the changing point in my life. I had continued cutting up till then, I had started drinking, and doing other bad things, but NEVER drugs. A week before I planned on doing drugs, Hannah invited me to Revolve which was also that weekend! So I had a choose Revolve or drugs. I choose Revolve, best decision of my life, that was definitely a God thing. Every word that came from the speakers, artists, and drama teams mouth I took to heart. I decided I would actually listen this year, and get as much as I could out of it.

We where unfortunate and didn’t get tickets to Britt's signing, which was a big reason why I came this year. After Britt was done, she walked by me, looked me in the eyes, smiled, and waved. I'll never forget that moment, that made my life. I remember being the happiest I had been in a long time. Her eyes where amazing. She has Jesus eyes. I could feel Jesus in her, and from that moment I told myself “I want to be like her”, “I want to find Jesus like she did”. I gave my life to Jesus at Revolve. I promised myself I would never go back to my old ways - you know what I haven't, I'm 8 months clean!

I now sponsor two kids, one from Zimbabwe and one from India. I am fully responsible for them, I have to raise all the money for them. So I started doing charity events for World Vision, all by myself with no help from anyone. So far I have raise over $800! Also through my blog, I have gotten to share my story and influence many other teens who have gone through the same thing. On facebook I created a fake facebook account for my high school, which instead of the account being used for cyber-bullying, I am using it as a site to encourage people and realize they aren’t alone. I have helped countless people who where thinking suicide and many who were cutting themselves. We make uplifting status, and do things called My stories, where people from my school write in and tell us their story and we post it anonymously. This facebook account is getting very popular, ive been told by many people how I have helped them - I couldnt even count how many!

Without Revolve and Jesus I wouldn’t have been able to do any of this! Thank you so much for everything you guys are doing, I hope and pray that you guys will be able to continue spreading Jesus’s love. I know many other people who's life has been changed through Revolve, you guys are making a difference and I want you to know this! Revolve was my hope. Revolve was God's way of giving me a “wake up call”. Honestly without this conference I would be cutting, drinking, and doing drugs. I'm so blessed to have been part of something amazing like this. Please never stop doing what your doing.

Also I wanted to say thanks to Jenna for something she said about cutting near the end of the 11' year, “leave the engraving up to Him”. That stuck with me, thank you. Jamie thank you for being so awesome, your music always picks me up when i'm down. I was so happy when you talked to me after Creation! I'm always so happy when you reply to me on twitter, I geek(: Never stop talking to your fans, cause that what separates you from others - you care enough to talk to people. Thanks! Britt your music has helped me, honestly, it helped me realize GOD IS LISTENING! HE IS WITH ME! I love you for that, hopefully one day I will be able to talk to you in person and tell you how much it means. Chad thanks for giving me the courage to break up with my boyfriend who was doing some bad things and being a bad influence on me. Court thank you for never not smiling, every time you smile I can't stop smiling at your smiling! You don’t realize how much that means to me, I love how crazy you are, NEVER CHANGE! Blanca thanks for come up to my group after your signing and talking to us, and just being awesome! Drama team, thank you for the suicide skit, that was one of the deepest moments and much needed moments of my Revolve experience.

Revolve tour and Women of Faith, THANK YOU for letting God use you to helping thousands of women!

Love,

Kirstin Beck, 15

Overcoming Fear

Fear has many different definitions;

Google say's- Fear: An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

The Bible say's in 2 Timothy 1:7: "God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control" In this case they use the word fear as "fright" or "dread".

I Cor. 2:3 - "I was with you in weakness and in fear" With fear meaning "phobia"

I know I have my fair share of fears; the unknown, trusting, future, death, how others think of me, snakes, heights, suffering, and pain. All of those fears listed are called Non- personal.

Some Inter- personal fear's I and you may face; relationships, love, broken relationships, disapproval, what others think, what others might do, rejection, what will happen to our family, abandonment, the world, opponent, embarrassed, loneliness, having nothing to say, or offending someone.

The last kind of fear there is, is called Intra- personal. These fears include: Failure, inadequacy, inability, responsibility, success, our capability to hurt, being out of control, security, being dependent, being fearful, being exposed, or insignificance.

Just reading those fears, cause me to fear. Fear can cause us to do many things -have anxiety, sleep deprieve, headaches, muscual tension, or hyperactivity. Fear causes procrastination, or never trying. It makes us give up on things we never tried.

Why do we fear? We feel threatened, perceived danger, feel powerless, genuine guilt, false guilt, or rejection.
But the greatest thing that fear causes is, get in the way of God's plan for us. IFear causes us to question our Lord, as if He is weak, as if he doesn't know what He is doing. Fear is the enemy. God is good. With God there is no fear, so how do i get rid of these fears? How do I learn to trust God? How do I look past my fears to Jesus?

God's answer to all fear is faith. All your fears are gone when you believe God is good. When you understand all his intentions are for the best. When you see that God is all- knowing and all -powerful!

  ²⁶ “So do not be afraid of them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. ²⁷ What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. ²⁸ Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. ²⁹ Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care.^{[a] 30} And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. ³¹ So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows. -Matthew 10: 26-31

Fear. Only. God.

Trust Issues

A lot of people don't know that I have trust issues -actually I don't think anyones knows.

Hi, my name is Kirstin and I have trust issues.

Before I got saved I don't think I could have ever admitted that, which is sad. I think it all started because of this girl, Haley. We got so close, beyond close, closer than I have ever gotten with a friend. We talked for over 6 hours a day, or more(during school days)! My life was her. Then one day on facebook she started calling me names, cussing me out, for no reason. I'll NEVER forget that day. How could my BEST friend do that? Then she started spreading rumors about me. It just got really dirty, really quick. To this day when we see each other at church we don't look at each other, even when we're standing right next to each other.

This has affected me greatly, not just because I lost my best friend, but because I don't think I can ever get that close to someone anymore. Lately God has blessed me with some great older influences in my life. I've gotten close with some of them, but it's so hard trusting that they won't turn their backs on me, and leave me. That's why I think i come across as needy, not cause I need them, but because I need to know they still care. I don't excpect them to ever understand this. It's hard when they yell at me and say "i'm not going to try to get you to talk", because I know they're right, they shouldn't have to -when I hear that though I think "they dont care enough to try". I know its my fault but the worst part is they will never understand.

I just pray they can...

Hi God...

Just a prayer I feel like I've been saying, I don't know how to pray "right" but I know my God hears and doesn't need fancy words for Him to understand me(:

Dear God,

You know the struggles I'm facing. You know the worries that are taking over my mind. But God I don't get why I can't just let it go and trust you. I know you're God almighty and can do anything, but its so hard for me to let go, and let you work father. Sometimes I feel like I can trust you lord, but I cant trust people. How do I know they won't turn their backs on me? How do I know if what I'm doing is in your plan? God I wish I knew your plans, but I'm just a little speak and don't have the knowledge and wisdom you have. Father could you shot some of your precious wisdom down to me? I love you Jesus. Thank you so much for dieing for a sinner like me. I try my best to live for you than myself but its so hard sometimes. Is what I'm doing for  you? I mean I know I'm helping people and all but I'm not teaching them about YOU! Isn't that why I'm here? To spread your love? God what if everyone turns there back on me and no one likes me anymore? How can i go through high school living like that? Would you let that happen to me God? I'm so small, could what I be doing make a difference? I know I've helped a lot of people, but why are their still people hating. It makes me wonder if what I'm doing is right. I'm so scared of the future and what it holds but you tell me in Jeremiah not to worry about the future because what ever it is, it's in my best interest.Father, I'm sorry for my sins please forgive me I ask this in Jesus's holy name. I love you sooooo much. Thank you for this day and the family you've blessed me with. Please Jesus, Help me.

In Jesus name I pray,
Amen.

Judging

In school I swear I have been taught; “don't judge a book by its cover” a million times- whether it be my 8th grade or 9th grade English teacher teaching the subject. Everyone say's it, but no one does it. The same was true with me.

Before I started this facebook account, ( I started an account for our school to encourage people, and help them realize their worth and aren't alone) I looked at the school, I saw the people I liked, and the people I didn't like. The people I didn't like, I judged- maybe it was something they said about me, or something I heard about them, that made me to not like them. I didn't know them. I didn't know there struggles, I just looked at them and saw what I thought about them, my judgments.

The same may be true about you too. You have the people you like, and don't like. But the people you dont like, I have a question. Do you make fun of them? Do you talk behind there back to your friends? Do you start rumors about them? Do you give them dirty looks? Do you roll your eyes? I hope not. But, I know most of you do, and sometimes I'm guilty of it to. The thing is, that's why life, our jobs, our schooling is messed up -because we judge people.

Have you thought of their feelings when you give them dirty looks? Or talk behind their back? They feel the same emotions as you do, it hurts them. They don't like it when people are being mean to them, just as much as you do.

Another thing you don't know is them. This is the biggest lesson i've learned from this facebook account -YOU DONT KNOW WHAT THEY'RE STRUGGLING WITH! The first person I helped told me she wanted to kill herself because of bullies. You know what? I was someone that didn't like her, I didn't make fun of her, but we definitely weren't the best of friends. But, I was blessed to have gotten to help her -I will never look at her in the same way.

You don't know what's behind every smile. Your co-worker could be struggling with divorce. Or maybe they're in an abusive relationship. Maybe they gossip about how others look, because they grew up and everyday their mom told them they were ugly. What if they were molestead as a kid and now don't know how to trust anybody, not even you at work. My point is the people you see everyday, and judge, you don't know them. You don't know their past or their struggles.

“Never judge a book by it's cover”

Their cover is just a mask of what's truly on the inside.

Stop judging

She's emo?
You'd cut too if you've gone through what she has.
She's Anorexic?
You would be too if you were called fat everyday.
She's A Whore?
She made one mistake & it cost her her reputation.
She's Loud?
She's invisible at home, and wants to be heard.
She's A Geek?
She wants to go far to help her poverty ridden family.
She's Ugly?
Tell me, what's the definition of beauty?
You don't know their story.
So Don't Judge.

25 Reasons Why I Love Lindsay Closson

25 reasons isn't enough for me to start to explain to you how much I appreciate you -but it's a start to your awesomeness. Hehe. Let me begin...



1) I can tell you anything and you won't be shocked.
2) If I'm way out of line, you tell me, and when I'm doing a good job, you tell me that too.
3) You send me encouraging texts at just the right moments(:
4) You make room for me in your life, even when your life is crowded and busy. (SO grateful for that)
5) I admire your self-control: You actually think before you speak. *Cough*
6) No one else gives me the total attention you do, when I have a problem or just need to talk.
7) You know my dark side and I know yours. No judgments there.
8) Somtimes you give me tough love when I really need gentle love- but I know that's because you're worried and care about me.
9) There are a few things from my past and you're the only one who knows about them- but you don't hold them against me(:
10) You're better than a sister: No sibling rivalry!
11) You laugh at my jokes (most of the time(; )
12) You always know the right thing to say.
13) Sometimes you don't have time for me. That might make me sad or hurt for a while, but hey, you'll ALWAYS be back.
14) Your love for me is as unconditional, as mine is for you.
15) One hug from you is worth 10 from any other friend.
16) You never get clingy, but you don't mind if I occasionally do.
17) You are BRILLIANT and gives the world's most incredible advice.
18) Whenever we go somewhere, you drive. (and can i add shes amazing at it)(;
19) You are always looking out for other people and helping in every way you can. You constantly give of yourself, and have taught me SO MUCH about selflessness and serving.
20) You're an amazing person of Christ and have helped me grow a lot spiritually
21) You tells me when I'm wrong, or when I'm being stupid, which helps me see things more clearly.
22) You always listen to me even if it's hard for me to say it.
23) You always make me smile(:
24) You are awesome at modeling but you're different than the other models, because you're not stuck up, mean, and dramaful, you're nice, kind, and caring.
25) I love how we communicate so well (refer back to number 11(; )


You're the best 28 year old friend a girl can have, hehe. Love you, friend.