Trust Issues

A lot of people don't know that I have trust issues -actually I don't think anyones knows.

Hi, my name is Kirstin and I have trust issues.

Before I got saved I don't think I could have ever admitted that, which is sad. I think it all started because of this girl, Haley. We got so close, beyond close, closer than I have ever gotten with a friend. We talked for over 6 hours a day, or more(during school days)! My life was her. Then one day on facebook she started calling me names, cussing me out, for no reason. I'll NEVER forget that day. How could my BEST friend do that? Then she started spreading rumors about me. It just got really dirty, really quick. To this day when we see each other at church we don't look at each other, even when we're standing right next to each other.

This has affected me greatly, not just because I lost my best friend, but because I don't think I can ever get that close to someone anymore. Lately God has blessed me with some great older influences in my life. I've gotten close with some of them, but it's so hard trusting that they won't turn their backs on me, and leave me. That's why I think i come across as needy, not cause I need them, but because I need to know they still care. I don't excpect them to ever understand this. It's hard when they yell at me and say "i'm not going to try to get you to talk", because I know they're right, they shouldn't have to -when I hear that though I think "they dont care enough to try". I know its my fault but the worst part is they will never understand.

I just pray they can...