Homecoming

So Homecoming was last weekend...


I have to say I was really excited to go this year. Last year I went with my friends, but this year I went with my boyfriend. I dont know how old you are, or how your homecomings were like, so ill try to explain mine to you.

Every is grinding, I mean EVERYBODY! There is a huge crowd in the center where all the kids huddle around and dance in. On the outsides, like near the corner of the gym, or the people who one cant dance or two dont want to dance. I was somewhere in the middle.

I am a christian, as many of you are, so grinding isn't something we should be doing. I knew this going into the dance but once I arrived its like everything I thought going into the dance erased.Within the first three minutes I was grinding with my boyfriend. After an hour we went to get a drink. But I had this really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach, I cant explain it. I remember just wanting to run away and go cry to my friend Vickey.

I went into the dance with the best intentions, Gods wants. But during the dance I gave into the pressure of my peers. I saw everyone doing it, so i did. I was very disappointed in myself. In the cafeteria I told my bf that I didnt want to grind anymore, and you know what? We didnt! and I can honestly say we had an amazing time. We still danced, but not that type. We still had fun, even with Jesus approval.

I know sometimes seeing everyone else doing it make you want to fit in, and do it. But the thing is, we can't just give into the peer pressure. It is so easy to just go along with everyone, but it takes strength and courage to stand up and do what Jesus wants you to. Being a teenager we are faced with an overwhelming pressure to do bad things. I know you have felt it. But know this, not EVERYBODY is doing it, there are other people in your school that have your same values. I previously mentioned my friend Vickey. I have only known her for 3 weeks, but we are already really close friends. She is someone I look up to. Vickey is a senior at my school, but also a very strong Christian. Her and I have been through a lot of the same struggles and going to her is so easy for me now. What I am saying is you need to surround yourself with people who will tempt and encourage you to do the right thing - what Jesus would do.


"He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm." Proverbs 13:20

Sermon

First I would like to thank all the people who prayed for me, it means a lot and I say thanks from the bottom of my heart. SO I did it! I did my first sermon ever! Ahhhhh, I remember when I was probably in 5^th grade and I prayed to God and promised Him that when I was older I would be a pastor, this was kind of that promise starting to be fulfilled – it’s just the beginning though. Anyways, here it is, the amazing Kirstin's first sermon at Ebenezer UMC(:

Did I look nervous? Well I was, well at least the week and night before Sunday-  I was so nervous I got little no  sleep!

I wanted to kind of right a post off of my little sermon here, so here it goes.

Two years ago I could have NEVER imagined doing this. Honestly, back then I probably would have laughed in your face, if you told me I would be doing this. If you have seen me talk in class at school, or just talking in front of a crowd, you would know I suck at it. I just cannot talk in front of people. I get so nervous, and then my whole body and voice start to shake, and it just gets really bad.

This fear of talking front of people probably started back in 6^th grade when I was at a church camp called Manidoken. Every day of the week a different age group would get in front of the camp and lead worship. Well, when the day my group got the chance to lead I started getting really nervous. We decided we were going to do a skit. My part was to scream when the girl dropped the paper. Yeah that’s it, that is all I had to do. Well I started freaking out. When the skit started, and it came to my part, I totally chocked and screamed at the top of my lungs. Someone far away probably thought someone was dying. Anyways so then the whole camp jumped back and started at me, for what seemed to be forever!  I was so embarrassed, still to this day I remember that memory really well.

As you can see I don’t really have a good record talking in front of people, because of this I debated whether or not I should even do the sermon. I was so scared that I would go up there and choke. And because of this fear it made me not want to step out of my comfort zone, and not try hard things.

Obviously I ended up saying yes to my pastor’s offer, and I am glad I did; because I did great! What I found, and really the reason why I am writing this, is that when God puts hard things for us to do that make us step out of our comfort zone, we tend to say no to quick. We think “oh I can’t do that, that’s too hard” or “I’m too scared to”. Believe me I felt this way. I thought because of my age that I wouldn’t be able to do a good sermon.

Guess what though. After my sermon tons of people came up to me crying, telling me how good of a job I did, how it has affected them, and how they needed to hear that. An older lady came up to me in tears and said “That was the most powerful sermon I have ever heard in my life” WOW! That is a complement! Others came up to me and told me their story and how my sermon was perfect timing for what they were going through. I admit I did start to tear up when I was shaking every ones hand, person after person was coming up in tears telling me I did amazing. But the best one came from our senior guy pastor who told me it brought him to tears. Then my girl pastor said that she wants me to speak on EASTER!

All of this wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t step out of my comfort zone and I didn’t put myself in a risky situation for Christ. When He gives us opportunity’s to bring glory to his name, don’t say no just because you are scared. I promise you He will show up and give you the strength you need!

“I can do all things through Him who gives me strength” Philippians 4:13

I leave you with this song by Britt Nicole;

You really can do anything with Gods strength, don’t let your own fears step in the way of Gods plan for you. God Bless xoxo

Suicide

Really sorry I didn't finish the video. I will try to write a post or finish recording another one, but for now I hope you guys got the message. I pray for all of you still dealing with these issues. Always know I am here to talk, yupthatskirstin@gmail.com sometimes all you need is a good friend, and I am willing to be that for you, if no one else will.

When I was cutting I never found the reason why it was so bad. Why people would tell me it was so bad and I shouldnt do it. I never understood that. I thought, it is helping with my pain and i am not going to die, so it is fine. As I continued cutting became my habit. It became my only method of dealing with hurt, pain, feelings of regret. Cutting was my back-up tool.

But i no know why cutting is bad......because we aren't ourselves when we have Jesus.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.

We shouldn't be making marks and ruining are body with a knife. God gave us other ways in our life to cope with emotions, he does not want us to cut. He actually says this,

Leviticus 19:28 You shall not make any cuts on your body for the dead or tattoo yourselves: I am the Lord.

I now leave you with these hotline numbers, if you need them, call.

National Hopeline Network (U.S.A.) -  http://www.hopeline.com/ - 1-800-SUICIDE
S.A.F.E. Alternatives -  http://www.selfinjury.com/ - Self Abuse Finally Ends

Childhelp –  http://www.childhelp.org/get-help - 1-800-4-A-CHILD - National Child Abuse Hotline
National Domestic Violence Helpline -  http://www.ndvh.org/   - 1-800-799-SAFE
Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network -  http://www.rainn.org/ – 1-800-656-HOPE National Sexual Assault Hotline
National Eating Disorders Association - http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/get-help-today/ - 1-800-931-2237