What are Gods plans for me?

God carefully and wonderfully made you. He knitted every part of you together. He stitched you together, to make who you are today. God had plans for you even before you where born. Isn't that amazing to think. That God knew what you would look like, how tall you would be, what things you would be good at. He created and painted what he wanted for you. He gave you those skills.

But, how do we know his plans for us? Well its simple. God wants us to spread his name. Just as he asked Paul to do. He wants us to not only be good Christians at church, but to be an example of Christ where ever we go. Whether it be at the super market, or at your job.

Well than how do we know if our job know is in God's plan? Well first ask yourself, what gifts has God given me? Maybe your good at talking to people, or maybe your a funny guy. Whatever your good at God gave you that ability. God didn't just give it to you for any reason. He gave it to you for you to use and spread his name through you.

So is your job right now helping spread his word? if not ask yourself, is this where god wants me now? If it is, then great. You have to talk to him about it, pray to him about it. He'll listen, he'll understand, he'll help you. Promise. So get some courage and step out.

I love myself because...

I love myself because...
I'm athletic
I'm not fat
I have an awesome smile
My eyes light up the room
My hair is amazing
I love helping people
I'm good at helping people
I'm good at basketball
I'm good at talking to people
I don't care what others think
I don't care if people judge me
I'm really smart for a 15 year old
God has given me a talent to help others, and speak through me
I used to be a quarterback in flag football
I'm not a girly girl
I'm different
I love pokemon
I'm good at marketing
I can speak French
I can beat anyone in madden 11
I'm good at making youtube videos
I can change a tire
I'm really good with kids
I have given my life to Jesus

Why do you love yourself? In order to grow, and help others, you yourself have to be confident with you! I've struggled with confidence. Psh. I still do, but you can only gain confidence by loving yourself, before caring what others think. So, write your own "i love myself because". God made every one of us, and your perfect in his eyes. Try to see what He sees before judging yourself to others.

A lesson to remember

Back in 7th grade, near the end of the year my teacher Mrs. Ritter taught a lesson on diaries . The creepy thing was the night before i started a diary. We were talking about diary because of some book we where reading I don't really remember. She asked us, "why do you think people keep diarys". We did the simple anwser "so they'll remember". But she then started to explain to us why she thinks people have diary. "They write in their diary, not only to remember what's happening in their lives, but to express how there feeling. We often start writing in journals when we're going through a tough time". She then urged us to keep a journal.

The funny thing is, that's when everything in my life was crumbling. That's when everything started. I was keeping that journal, because I was going through a hard time. I was writing so I could remember, in the pit of my stomach i knew I needed to write about what was happening in my life.

Through the years I've continued to write.  I wrote about Haley getting abused, and the endless fights with my parents, and my best friend reporting me to guidance. But, I only wrote a couple entry's in the darkest days.

I found this journal a month ago.

Pain. That's how I was feeling. Pain. That's what I was reading.

I was a girl feeling pain, not knowing how to express it. I was a little girl lost. Facing issues a 12 year old girl never should have faced.

It's hard to remember that time in my life. But at the same time, im glad I wrote in the journal. I'm coming to accept my past. Even though it's painful.

Now, I find writing is my escape now. It's a way to express my feelings. To get my thoughts straight.

So, if your going through a tough time now, write down how your feeling. Express what's inside. If it's disappointment, or shame. Just write. It helps(:

The Healing is Begining

In my last post, i said i was going to confess my sin to someone. At first my plan was to share it with a person i meet on the interent. We decided at 8:30 we would talk. 8:30 past than 9:30, than finally at 10:30 she told me she couldnt get on. I was super disapointed, but yes i know she has a job blah blah blah. I had built up so much nerves from thinking about what would happen. I went to bed knowing i needed to get this off my chest with or without her.

The next day, today, I planned on talking to her, again. But in my heart i knew we werent going to. The day went by slow. At 5:10 i had to go to VBS. In the car i kept thinking about it. I was urning to tell someone. I sat there listening to the kids ask questions about God, but my mind kept wondering. I got up and just left. I didnt do it intencally. I walked up and down the halls. Then i thought, "maybe i should tell rev". I prayed asking God to give me the strength to go through with my plan. I've never talked to her before, she only learned my name a few months ago. As she walked out of the sancuary i asked her if we could talk. I guess she didnt hear me, cause she kept walking. I said it louder and she turned around and told me to meet her in her office. I took a breath, and walked in. At this point, the words started flowing out of my mouth. I for sure, didnt have that courage that i was expressing before i walked in the door. She sat and listened, she than told me "you have to accept the forgiveness that God has given you". We kept talkig, i told her things that i didnt even know that i was bearing inside. I left REFRESHED! I am not healed yet, but the healing is BEGINING! Thats all i can ask for. If you have a sin your bearing, tell someone. I know this is so scary. Don't think about what there going to say, because either way God is with you. You will leave free, regardless of what they say. When we are confessing, thats when we need our savior, and thats when our savior shines.

Another thing, maybe God didnt want me to talk to my internet friend about it, because he knew that i would get more out of it if i told in person. With someone flesh to flesh. I'm so grateful.

To "internet friend" , I know your busy. I love you either way. Praying for you, bud(:

Sins

I'm more scared to tell my sins to people than to God. But not because it's pretend...because I know He loves me. Because I know that He'll forgive me. Because I know that He won't be shocked and hate me for something I did, He already knew I was screwed up.

People aren't like that. People judge you and hate you and refuse to forgive you. I trust God, it's people I don't trust

Guilt

How do we heal? I still have guilt and hurt over things ive done in my past. I have asked for forgiveness, to many times to count. In my heart I know God has forgiven me, a long time ago. But the problem is, I havent forgiven myself. I have secrets that nobody knows, not even people I have meet on the internet. So how do I find forgiveness? Well I have been listening to this song "healing begins" by: tenth avenue north. It talks about how we tell God our secrets, like it no problem. We almost think of it as an imagination, or something unreal when we confess our sins to him. Why is it so hard for use to confess our sins to people. The song continues to say, once we let down our walls, and start telling people our sins- thats when "the healing begins, when we come to where were broken within". I dont want to feel this guilt anymore, so today I am going to tell someone. Im so scared what there gonna say and think, but I am more scared to live in the regret of my sin. Pray for me. I hope this inspires you to confess your sins too. We can do this(:

God is with you

On twitter I saw Jeanne Marie tweet "God always shows up on time". It's crazy,cause 30 mins before this is what happened.



"Dear Lindsay,

It's amazing me how God is using you in my life. He did it again, again! The whole day i was feeling down, i had no reason. I don't know if I'm still depressed. But, lately i have really been feeling like it. Every time i got on the Internet someone new was telling me that God wasn't real. Saying "I was just talking to myself", Ive been starting to believe them. Every time i started to pray, that though would come back in my head. I was definitely getting farther and farther away from him. I guess today it was just at its peak. I was laying down, i started to get really sad, Ive never felt like that before. Then i got really nervous for some reason. The first though in my head was..great I'm gonna have an anxiety attack. I walked outside in the pouring rain, tears rolling down my face i prayed. I started to sing to him, I sang "light up the sky". I mean it kinda helped but not really, i decided i was just gonna cut to get it over with. Right as that thought entered my mind, you poped me on skype "Ill call u in 5". I thought "I am a mess, shes gonna see me like this". That's why i made you wait. As i talked to you the thought kept going back and fourth in my head. Then we talked about sex. I have no idea why that was the thing that made me happy, but it was. After we stopped talking, I just laughed... I went to my basketball court and shot around for like 15 mins thinking about what you had said. I headed to the tire swing, it was pitch black by now. I started to pray out loud, and sing chris tomlin songs. Then i realized what he had done..that EXACT moment in my head, was the EXACT same time you sent me that message. He was with me the WHOLE time. I just never noticed it.

THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 Kirstin"
God is with you.....I promise.


"I will never leave you nor forsake you."
Hebrews 13:5

From Good to Great

For years I've been told by numerous coaches and players that I'm a good basketball player. But what makes me good? Why do they say I'm good? What is good? Is good, being average? How do I become great? How can I set myself apart from the other good players? How can I improve? This relates to us as Christians. Where all good Christians we pray we go to church every sunday. But how do we become the GREAT christian God wants us to be? That's a hard question to anwser. Relating back to basketball, the only way I can become the great player i want to be, is to practice. Maybe that's how we can become a great christian. We practice. Practice being patient. Practice helping people. Practice praying. I know that sounds weird. But the next time your husband, kid, or friend is annoying you, PRACTICE being patient. Take a breath, and choose those words carefully(: Or the next time you see an old lady carrying groceries, get over there and help her! Don't sit, and watch. Or, when your television is on commerical, say hi to God. Just talk to him, tell him about your day, or something your worried about.The only way we can become a better christian, is to practice doing what is the RIGHT thing to do.

Dear Parent,

Parents have to do a lot. Pay the bills, be there for their kids, go to work, make dinner and millions of other things. But sometimes we get our judgement mixed up. We think that paying the bills is more important job they have. Right? Cause if you pay the bills then you will provide for your family, you will give them a home, toys, food, clothes, right? But when your job is causing you stress... guess what, YOU BRING THE STRESS HOME. Even though your paying the bills, you are only doing Half the job! Show your kids you love them. If you have a bad day at work, do you go home jolly o' happy? I hope you do. But in reality, we don't. We bring the work issues home! They are WORK issues for a reason! Leave the stress at the door! My mom does this, she gets herself do stressed that by the time she gets home shes to tired to do anything. So when she see's the dishes not done, or trash everywhere she flips. Okay, yes i should of picked up the trash. But where both at fault, shes only yelling at me because of stress at work. Shes even told me she does this! So i ask you to leave the stress at the door! Money isn't everything, you provide for your children not by material items but with LOVE. That's all they need, not the newest Ipod, or phone. If your job is causing this think, is that really a good job for you?
Love,
a child who felt this.. and still does

My Life Mission Statement

As a Christain i want to live the life God intends for me. I dont want to hold anything back because im worried about what might happen. I want to go to Africa, and feed the hungry children. I want to preach to the broken, and bring hope to the hopeless. I want to live my life with no regrets of my past. I want to help other people struggling with cutting. I want to become a missionary! I wont hold back because im comfortable in the "safe" zone.I will try to live as Jesus did. Although thats an impossible task! I want to spread the lords LOVE, to everyone who doesnt feel loved. I want to teach them that God loves them just the way they are! Im going to preach, about how you dont need to change to go to him, cause he will CHANGE YOU! I WANT TO TELL THE WORLD ABOUT JESUS! I WANT TO CHANGE THE WORLD! And guess what, i can cause God has my back.

Future me, i hope you live up to this mission statement!

I challenge you guys to write your own mission statement! Live up to your dreams! Dream big, this guy i know can do some amazing things!

Gotta love Oprah

As I watched the last Oprah show, I was saddened. But that show, the last show, that was the best Oprah show I have ever scene. She talked with such wisdom. She made that room a church, she talked about God as if she was a preacher! As I watched the show i wrote down some quotes that I found inspiring. (Sorry if some you don't understand i was typing as fast as I could) (:

Use your life to change the world!!!

Nobody but you is responsible for your life.

Not feeling worthy enough to own the life you where created for

We often block are own blessings because we don't feel inherently good enough, or smart enough, or pretty enough, or WORTHY enough.

Your worthy enough because you where born.

You alone are enough.

Do you see me, do you hear me, does what I say mean anything to you.. everybody wants to be heard.

Nothing but the hand of god has made this possible!

Be still and know it. (God is with you)

I wait and listen for the guidence that's greater than my medint (I think I spelled that wrong) mind.

God is love. God is life. Your life is always speaking to you.

What are the whispers in your life? And will you hear it?

Yellow brick road of blessings

"To god be the glory. " those where her final words. Oprah. Is. Amazing. I hope one day I'll be able to give and spread the word of the lord as she has. Thank you, Mrs. Winfrey(:

My First "Sermon"

My first "sermon". Every year since I was born we would go with my church to camp harrmission. This camp is owned by the Methodist churchs, and can I add it so beautiful! It's in the middle of nowhere, but that's what makes it so calming. Anyway, my first paster was paster gale, she would always come up to harrmission with us, and do the Sunday service there. Are new paster, she not really new(5 years haha), Rev. Judy, didnt come camping, which meant no service! I wasn't really thinking this till Saturday. So I thought of this as a perfect opportunity to be the "paster". I know I want to get into ministry, but not become a paster. Anyway, so I asked the adults and they thought it was a perfect!! So I got writing, I decided that I couldn't do it alone so my friend Olivia pitched in. We went back and forth on the topic we wanted to talk about. It went from, spiritual things we pack while camping, then to stress, then to being thankful, but in the end we picked God's plan. I would have liked to have talked deeper in the sermon, but there where around 10 kids, so I didn't want to boar them. I started about talking about the camping, then we casually went into taking about Job. I spoke about what God had done, and then ended with a verse from Jeramiah.
"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future" after the sermon I said a simple prayer, then was the music(: my friend Kathleen brought her ipod so we picked "every move i make" and "if we are the body". It was great everyone was singing!! Except for these newer people to are church. The night before I heard the woman talking to mr.ken about how she never feels welcome at a church. The song "if we are the body" by casting crowns was perfect! Yet, I don't think she was really listening to the lyrics. Ha, I guess I can see why some pasters get frustrated. I really wanted to get my message across but you never no when you do... FRUSTRATION(: Well, hopefully ill be able to do it again.