The House (Part 2)

Click here for Part 1

Every now and then the man would return, but for no more than a couple hours straight. Coming up to his house, smiling and waving to his neighbors. But they knew what he had done. They weren't fooled by him. There was hatred in all the people's hearts toward him, yet he pretended not to realize this, and went on like everything was okay. He would show up at the house when no one was home just to avoid any fights that could possibly break out. It has been almost a year now since the man had betrayed his family, and he still had no regret.

"God" the youngest son screamed, "why can't you just put my family back to normal?" He prayed this prayer everyday. The youngest daughter seemed to be taking it a little differently. She put on the mask and pretended everything was okay - even though you could still see the pain inside her eyes. The daughter refused to see the man or hang out with him, even though her heart longed to have her daddy back. She couldn't stand the fact that he didn't care enough even to say he was sorry.

Still from the outside, everything seemed normal. The mailbox wasn't overstuffed. The wood stacked perfectly. The lawn was mowed. You see the eldest son of the woman had taken over and became the man of the house. He got a job, and was doing all he could to help out his mother.

But to the unknowing eye you could still see the slight changes. It was the middle of summer, yet their pool was still not open. When the woman got home, instead of going straight into the house, she would quietly sit in her car for an hour crying out to God. This house was still broken, but the hope was not.

On their refrigerator the woman placed bible verses for her children to see.

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who've been called according to His purpose" Romans 8:28

There is still hope. But their eye are blinded by the now, if only they could see the bigger picture.

Loss of a Friend

This is the second friend in four months. I never really expected anyone in our class to die, but if someone where to die I never would have thought it would have been Kate. Kate was the type of person that truly enjoyed life. I mean people say that about people, but she did - never took a second for granted. She was always happy, and smiling even when she was in so much pain. She didn't care what others thought, she wore what she liked, did her make-up the way she wanted, talked to everyone. Kate was the lite in Liberty.

I remember back in seventh grade when she was in the hospital and they didn't know if she would make it so our class decided to write her letters to make her feel better. In mine I wrote about the Jonas Brothers because that was her favorite band. This song was one of her favorites, and it happened to be one of mine too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u3cZ3WZb7RE

In English class this year I remember always looking at her and thinking how inspiring she was - you literally couldn't take the smile off of her. Kate and I were friends, but not close. Although she was very close with some of my best friends.

Kate was born with a heart condition, that's how she died. With Tyler's death we had time to pray, we had time to think about the possibility of him not surviving. But with Kate's it was literally out of the blue. No one expected it. I think a lot of this had to do with the fact that Kate was always so positive, she didn't want any of us to worry. Tyler's death made me think about heaven and God, and the possibility of maybe there wasn't a God. I had a lot of doubts after it. But with Kate's death there's this peace inside me I can't even begin to explain.

Yesterday, when I found out, I was driving in the car and I looked in the sky and inside this comfort rushed my soul. It was as though Kate was up there telling me she was okay and in a better place. I am really sad about this. I'm confused about my feelings. But I'll stand CONFIDENTLY on God's truths. I believe with all my heart that God is good, and faithful. I know that Kate is in heaven right now. I know it. God took her out of a lot of pain. She is in heaven right now feeling none of it. She is dancing and running and hugging my Jesus. She is having so much fun right now, way more than she could have on earth. God has a reason and a plan.

This death has been really hard on my friends, and her family so I ask that you keep us in your prayers. Although this is hard on us, I know Kate wouldn't want us being sad and doing things we'd regret. She's having the time of her life up there, i know that. Instead of being sad she'd want us to be happy through our pain, just like she did throughout her life.

This is for you Kate, to one of the most happy people I've ever met, R.I.P. 

August 9, 1995 - July 29, 2012

Charity Party + My Baptism!!!

As many of you know I am having a huge charity birthday party this Sunday and I’m super excited about it!!! Sunday is going to be a big day for me because not only is it my birthday party but I am getting baptized!!

These last few weeks leading up to my party have been really tough on me spiritually. I have felt this separation from God, I saw so much of my old self coming back. This really had been getting to me. So I decided maybe I shouldn’t get baptized cause you’re supposed to be with God to do that, right? *spiritual warfare* lol. That was my thinking. But I found that just because I wasn’t doing everything perfect God still loved me, we had a relationship, and He still very much wanted me to get baptized. Satan must know something good is going to happen because he has been trying so hard to mess with me!

We have so much work to do to prepare for my charity birthday party I can’t even being putting my mind around everything. My family and I have been mad men running around our house trying to get everything cleaned, making lists of everything we need done, buying all the decorations and food, finding the music, etc. The Beck’s household has been madness. Haha. But I find that there is a lesson here and something I don’t want to miss through all of this. See I don’t want to get so caught up in the things we have to do to prepare that I miss the reason why I am doing all this. I feel we do this a lot of times in life. Take time everyday to remember why you are doing everything you’re doing!

For me I want my party to not be about me, or the people we are helping, but about God. See He is the reason why I am doing all this. Without God I wouldn’t be here. Without God I have no worth. I want God to shine through my party, through me! I want Jesus to be shown!

During my party I don’t want to get caught up in all my friends that are there, I want to get caught up in the amazing things God is doing! The amazing things He is doing through me. I am humbled that the God of the universe is using me to impact the people in Ethiopia and around the world. Through my party I hope that God and I will come closer to each other.

I don’t care how much money I raise, because I know God will provide all the funds He wants me to have. I don’t care how many people show up. I care about my relationship with God and if I brought glory to His name. That is my goal, that is my desire.