Orphans

We got to go to a Catholic orphanage twice. I walked in the second time to be greeted by my friend Tiebebu, a 11 year old boy, who I love. Afterward two little girls were begging for my attention. Literally begging. I sat down so I could hold them. One girl was in my lap, while the other was trying to push the other girl off so she could have my attention. I looked into the little girls eyes, who I couldn't hold, she had such pain. There's no other way to explain it other than 100% pain, hurt, worthlessness, unloved, brokenness. She couldn't have been more than 3 years old. Usually three year olds have this innocents, and love inside them. But she didn't. She never had any one ever hold her as a baby, anyone to ever tell her she was loved. Everyone who ever held her, always left. She was used to everyone she would get close to leaving her- I was no different. The girl I held in my lap, wouldn't look me in the eyes for the longest time. She just wanted to be held and hugged- so I did. I wanted to so desperately go to the baby room so I could hold them, but God hinted and told me He placed me in that moment, with this specific girl, for a reason. So I stayed and held her. I started to think the same thoughts I was thinking for the other girl. I wanted to stay there forever and just hold her. I didn't need to speak, I just wanted to hold her and make her feel loved, even if it was only for an hour. Inside me though, I knew I was going to have to leave her, I couldn't stay. How many other people have left her? How could these children who should be innocent already have this depth of hurt and mask in their eyes. I felt horrible. But then I had this thought enter me, although I am going to have to leave her, I am going to have to put her down from my arms, God will never put her down, God will be there forever, He will never leave. He will never leave. I pray that although they have been so hurt in their lives they will experience the relationship found in Jesus, the love, the joy, the worth they have in Him. 

Once they left I went in the baby room. 20 cribs stuffed in a room, with babies laying there, with no one to hold them when they cried. The babies would literally just start crying not for food, or their diaper, because they wanted to be held. They had no one to hold them. That's all they wanted. Innocent, little tiny, babies, who had already been through things I can't imagine. These children have no one. One baby was only a month old, their mom had left them on the street to die- not because she didn't love him, but because she couldn't provide for him. If they could provide they would have kept their babies. Now this kid will grow up feeling worthless because there own mother left them to die. They won't have any parents. They wouldn't have anyone to stand up for them when they are older. They are going to grow up with this ugly view of the world. They will have no one to be their role model, or help them through puberty. No one to give them the sex talk, or teach them how to play sports. Oh, how I have taken all of this for granted. I have two parents. Most children in Ethiopia only have one, or none, never both. 

One girl was playing and a boy kept kicking her. She had no adult to stand up for her. She was alone. She was broken. This world makes people believe the lie they aren't loved. I wish everyone had parents, I wish everyone had food, shelter, a job, a house, a car, but if everyone did, oh how ugly this world would be. The orphans are without hope, joy, and love. I pray they will get this back. Give them parents Jesus. Help them through the pain of seeing everyone else except them getting adopted. Help them see their worth and love. Bring them to you Jesus. Show them You. Jesus you are the answer.