Yordanos

Big Ahope is an orphanage for children 12-16 who have HIV. Not only are these children older, so that lessens there chance of being adopted, but they also have HIV- an almost hopeless situation. After driving down the rock filled bumpy dirt roads, we reached Ahope. I went inside the building, finding a room with six beds and some children inside. Immediately I approached a girl who was doing laundry on her bed. When I tried to talk to her, she would softly respond or just ignore me. Instead of trying to break her walls, selfishly, I wanted to walk away and find another child who was more willing to connect. I turned around a little, like I was about to leave, then she looked up with this look of don't leave. So I didn't. I learned her name was Yordanos, after she repeat herself multiple times, and wrote in on my hand. We awkwardly stood there, well I awkwardly stood there, while she did the laundry. My friends were painting the other girls in the rooms nails, so I asked if she would let me paint hers. She declined. I then asked if I could help her with the laundry. She declined. I asked her if we could play outside. She declined. As she continued starring down, folding the clothes, I asked her if she prayed. With a smile, she told me yes, everyday. Yordanos pulled out her bible to show me. Finally I was breaking down the walls. She then told me I could now paint her nails, but only her toe nails. Slowly I painted them, trying my best not to mess up, trying my best to show her love, trying my best to be her older sister. Calling over Big Sammy, our translator, I asked what her dreams where. Yordanos wants to be a doctor when she's older. Then Yordanos and I got to pray. Yordanos has a younger sister named Kidist. So Kidist and I went outside to play soccer. But when I was out there playing I could sense the Holy Spirit telling me to go back inside and be with Yordanos- so I went inside. Her eyes light up when she saw me coming back. She wanted me to paint her finger nails now. So I repeated the process. I noticed string on her bed and asked her about it. We then made each other bracelets- well I made her one, and she gave me one she had already made. Afterwards, she finally decided to come outside to play. Yordanos, Ethiopians in general, know how to jump rope. She swung her arm in a large circle, while bending her knees and body in perfect harmony. It was so cute. You could tell she was one of the quiet girls in the orphanage. I just wonder how many people over-look her because she's quiet, like I almost did. Yordanos is a little 12 year old trying to be a mom to her younger sister. She has to protect her, make sure she's safe. I can't image the thoughts she experiences daily. I can't image the circumstances she has gone through. She is strong and she has Jesus. I can't help but feel like I made a mistake. That I was trying to hard to make a connection that I ended up hurting her. I can't help but think she was just trying to be nice to me because I was annoying. I can't help but wonder if she had a personal relationship with Jesus or was Ethiopian Orthodox. I think this story is the hardest for me to tell because I feel like I messed up. But it was also an impact moment.